I have to admit I felt nervous as I anticipated my first day back in the community after sabbatical. There wasn’t a lack of readiness in me to resume regular life. In fact, I felt eager to reengage. I suppose some of it felt like the ‘going back to school’ jitters I got as a student. I think most of it was that sabbatical was an entirely new experience not just for me, but The Dale- I knew how I journeyed through it but did not know how everyone else did.

Through Dion I learned that one person was convinced I was not going to return. This was rooted in previous experiences of other people going and not coming back. I hoped that my arrival would allow these concerns to melt away, though also understood that when old wounds are triggered, healing and recovery can take time.

When I first saw this person, we had a long embrace, each with a hand on the other’s head. I felt a wash of relief. She went into the building ahead of me. When I later entered, I saw that she had brought balloons (that said happy birthday on them) and colourful plastic leis for some of us to wear around our necks. I sat beside her to say thank you for the decorations, and she looked at me and said, “I can’t believe you came back”.

What followed was an emotional, vulnerable conversation. I explained that being with her and everyone at The Dale is exactly where I want to be, and my intention was always to return. We hugged again.

Later, during our service, she shared with the group her gratitude for Joanna, Meagan and Olivia, a theme that was consistent throughout. Unsurprisingly, the team had done a tremendous job over the last four months (I am so proud of them). And then, with tears, she expressed how happy she was that we were all together again.

I was reduced to a puddle of tears where I was seated.

One community member came over and gently put a number of tissues in my hand, another placed their hand on my back.

In the final week of sabbatical, I had tried to be intentional about what my return to The Dale would look like: what conversations I would need to have, what tasks I needed to catch up on.

But what I couldn’t prepare for was how it would feel.

As I reflect on this past month, the word that stands out most is: homecoming.

I am no longer re-entering. I have entered.