Last Sunday I decided to crack open the gallon of pink paint my daughter picked for her room and finally get down to putting it on the walls. It’s very pink. For those of you who know my girl this will come as no surprise.

The weather on Sunday was beautiful: the breeze through the window and the warmth of the sun helped to keep me happy as I worked. Cate and one of her best friends lounged on the bed as I painted, keeping me company with their chatter and giggles. The conversation took an interesting turn when they began to discuss what people are “known for doing”, i.e. that person is always doing dishes, or that person is always grumpy, or that person is always watching television. You get the idea. I almost reluctantly asked what I am known for doing, assuming that my worst qualities would be broadcast by those who get to most often see them in action. The room got quiet. I was getting less and less optimistic. Then the friend said, “I’ve got it, you are known for loving Cate”.

My heart swelled.

That thought, that I might be known simply as the one who loves my daughter, made me want to cry. I can get so busy with doing. I could easily be known as the one who never stops, who loves checking things off lists, who really puts the multi in multitasking. Not that my lists don’t contain worthy tasks. It’s just that I don’t want those tasks to define me. I instead want to be known as one who loves deeply and well. As straightforward as that sounds it is far from easy. Loving in the context of relationship is challenging and, well, messy. Loving isn’t just about giving Cate a room with pink walls (though that indeed spoke love to her), it is about caring for her needs, challenging her behaviour when required, holding her when she’s hurt, helping her discover boundaries, teaching her about God and life and loving her neighbour and celebrating the person she both is and coming to be.

I want to be present to Cate in order to love her well. Similarly, I want to be present to my husband, family, friends and community in Parkdale. Sometimes I will do this well, other times I will fail. Fortunately I have discovered that in all of this I am being loved too, despite my too long lists, my missteps and my downright failures. I am invited to receive love as much as I am required to give it. What a beautiful thing.

I will never look at those very pink walls the same way again.

Dear Friends,

When I look back at my adult life thus far, I am truly amazed that I have been given opportunity after opportunity to do work that I love: work that has been consistently about developing community which includes all people, while valuing those who are all too often overlooked by society. I get to hear people’s stories. I hear from the woman who was battered daily by her husband before she made the terrifying decision to flee; from the man who, as a child, was abused by the step-father that his mother loved too much to leave; from the family who is struggling to make ends meet; from the young woman who is working in the sex trade in order to pay her university fees; from the teenager who is sleeping rough on the streets; from the man whose job is so fast paced that he feels as though life is passing him by; from the woman who is weary of chasing after material things. Sometimes the stories are strikingly familiar, sometimes entirely unique, but always real and worthy of being shared. And it is in the sharing of them that the work of really knowing one another begins.

I have spent the last number of years working at Parkdale Neighbourhood Church (PNC). PNC is situated in the heart of Parkdale, a neighbourhood in the west end of Toronto. Parkdale is a diverse place- walk its streets and you will meet people living outside, some with serious diagnosed mental health issues, urban “hipsters” who are opening coffee shops and art galleries, people living in rooming houses alongside those who are renovating the same houses into single-family dwellings. The street signs declare you are in the “Village of Parkdale”, an entirely appropriate label given that its inhabitants in large part know one another’s names.

PNC is a gathering place for people. It is a space in which all people, particularly the vulnerable and broken are encouraged to participate fully, to the best of their abilities. We are invited into mutually supportive relationships; the kind that assists each of us as we journey through the life God has given us. I am passionate about the work that goes on in this community: the drop-ins where we share a meal together, the art workshops, the group that gathers on Sunday afternoons to sing, pray, question and learn, the Open Stages where people have the courage to share a song or a poem or a dance, the list goes on. But really, the passion doesn’t spring up out of our programming (as good as it is), it comes from the people- people sharing their pain and struggle and joy in very raw ways. It is in the faces of my friends that I see Jesus, the one who extends love and grace to all.

It is because of this passion that I have agreed to lead PNC into a new phase in its life and mine. We are about to undergo a “reboot”. This means that we are taking some time to revision, rebuild and re-launch. In the meantime we will stay close to our people by continuing our drop-in and doing significant outreach on the street.

In an effort to strengthen the structure of PNC I have decided to become a self- supported worker. This means that I will raise the funds for my own salary. Having done this in the past in a different setting I am aware of the work involved. I also know the beauty of this- that I have the chance to gather a group of people together who are invested in my life and my work. I am scared, yes. I am also hopeful and very excited about continuing the work that I am convinced I am called to do.

Support in this context can come in various ways, each of equal importance: you can gift your time (i.e. walk the neighbourhood with me), your prayer and/or your money by making a donation to PNC and designating it to the “Support of Erinn Oxford” (the ways in which to do this are listed at the end of this letter). Whatever support you offer is truly a gift.

Please consider coming alongside me in my commitment to being a presence in Parkdale. I will take special care to diligently and humbly do the work that is necessary to deepen PNC’s roots and nurture its growth.

With deep gratitude,

Erinn Oxford

Ways to Give:

By Cheque, made payable to Parkdale Neighbourhood Church.

C/O 107 Queensdale Avenue, Toronto, ON M4J 1Y2

On-Line at http://www.canadahelps.org.

By PAR (Pre-Authorized Remittance)- please contact me for the form.

Welcome to my new blog. Please visit this site to read about what is going on in my life, particularly my work in Parkdale. I look forward to sharing and in so doing inviting you to co-journey with me.