I am writing for the first time in weeks from a chair on the back deck of our house. My ankle is elevated because I managed to badly sprain it while walking to see my Mom in the Intensive Care Unit, where she has been since Saturday. I am missing a funeral today because of all this, while planning another for next week. Between my injury, Dion’s MS and Cate being away, our household is a bit of a comedy of errors. The beat shall we say, goes on.

The sun is shining right now. There’s a nice breeze too. I close my eyes and try to listen: to the birds, the squirrels running along the fence, the children playing in the schoolyard across the street, the breeze, the neighbours discussing their garden and the hum of a lawn mower. Since my childhood I have loved the smell of freshly mown grass and its scent is strong right now. I am trying to be aware of this moment.

In this moment I am also thinking of my Mom as she works to recover after another infection; of Dion as he checks out an accessible van that we need to buy; of Michael “Grumpy” Graham who died on Victoria Day; of the many people gathered at today’s memorial service for another friend tragically lost too soon; of Cate on her grade eight trip, wistfully aware of how quickly she is growing up. I am aware that my emotions are intertwined with so many things that are happening outside of my control.

I have been encouraged recently to consider what it means to abide, especially in the context of my faith. Abide means to: accept or bear; to stay or live somewhere; to remain or continue. I am invited to discover that as I abide in Christ, Christ abides in me. Any ability to accept and bear the challenges I’ve described above comes from strength that is absolutely not my own. As I rest into, or abide in the love of God, I am reminded that I am not alone.

So today as I listen to my surroundings and think about the oh so many things that I can’t change or fix, I also choose to abide.

6 thoughts on “In this Moment, I Choose to Abide

  1. We missed you today, Erinn, and I couldn’t believe it when I heard you had yet another unexpected hurdle to overcome with your ankle. As if you haven’t had enough lately! I am reminded by your post that sometimes being forced to slow down and receive leads to new perspective and hope. Abiding with you!

  2. Erinn, my thoughts and prayers for you, your mother, Dion and Cate.
    Again, your thoughts on ‘abide’ and the explanation is another example to me of what being a Christian is about. Thankyou!! xoxo

  3. Erinn, Continued love and prayers coming. Blessings, Irene

    On Wed, 1 Jun 2016 20:59:20 +0000

  4. Perhaps I have not been listening or maybe I have and the emphasis is different, but it seems to me that when people talk about ‘abiding’, the focus has been on my abiding; how I ‘abide.’ For me, that ‘abiding’ is more often than not lacking in acceptance and not much for ‘bearing’ with, not staying and living somewhere and frequently moving around; the absence of staying with something over the long haul. When I read your blog Erinn, I was prompted to consider Jesus ‘abiding’; an abiding not lacking in anything or interrupted at any point. I don’t have the greatest place for Jesus to stay and live, but he chooses to be with me non-the-less. Grateful! Thanks!

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