It was my first drop-in day in my new role at what was to become The Dale. I was en route when my phone rang. I glanced down and saw the display: RBC (Royal Bank of Canada). I cringed and decided I should pull over to answer it, knowing that it was likely related to work and our current financial crisis. I was right. I listened as the person on the other end explained that our account was in overdraft, and was I aware? As calmly as I could, I explained that I was just back after a time away, I was now the appropriate person to talk to, and could I have one hour to see if I could sort things out? The reply was yes.
I hung up, laid my head back and said out loud, is my first day back my last? I took a few deep breaths in and then out. I looked in the back seat of my vehicle at the groceries I had just purchased with my own money for our meal that day. I knew there were people waiting for me and that the food needed to be eaten, and so I thought, whatever might happen tomorrow, TODAY we are going to have drop-in. Give us this day our daily bread.
Over the next hour two things happened. First, I spoke with a long-time friend and supporter who simply asked, what do you need in order to get through the next three months? I gulped and gave the accurate number. Without skipping a beat, they said: let me e-transfer it. I began to cry to which they matter-of-factly said, “no need to cry, this is something I can do.” Second, I uncovered a bank error, one that took us just into the black.
When I think about this day, I can still picture the way the light was hitting the lake as I took the call from the bank. I remember the anxiety in the pit of my stomach that turned into a fierce determination to have drop-in. There was a keen sense of needing to live into the now and not yet, a strange and mysterious tension. I wanted to be in the moment, address the issues, and do whatever I could to work for and imagine a future. None of it was easy. All of it was covered in grace.
I do not take for granted the way scarcity turned to abundance that day. It was provision for all of us, ensuring that our community might continue, at least for the next few months. So many years later, I remain grateful for the experience and how it has informed the way we respond and move through crises (of which there are many). Life didn’t stop being messy that day. It did strengthen some muscles in me though, including being present to what is and identifying the tasks in front of me to do, while igniting my imagination for things to come.
thank you for this story and reminder
Re-telling this was a helpful reminder to me too. Peace to the whole Stolte clan!
Wow! The extreme practice of stability!
Love that phrase learning to ‘live into the now and not yet.’
Whew! Thank God for the generous supporter way back then who could provide 3 months funding.
Once i was involved in fundraising for a new hospital. The person who was training us said that a fundraising efforts only fails when you don’t ask enough people. You just never know who is waiting to be asked and willing to give! Sometimes i have found, i couldn’t predict.
Bless you!
Sue
I often cannot predict! So grateful when provision and grace shows up in unexpected ways. Peace to you Sue.
One of my fave blogs yet!
My life verse/prayer: “Give me not poverty nor riches, but be my daily bread” (Proverbs 30:8) … and yet, He gives abundantly!
xo
xo to you Paula! Thank you for sharing your life verse/prayer- so good.