I’ve been on a bit of a self-imposed break from writing. I realized near the beginning of August that I was in need of some rest from regular life. I decided to turn off the computer and phone, hide out a bit, enjoy summery drinks, swim, read, knit and fortunately for me, hold a few of my friends babies for extended periods of time. Holding a brand new person is a good way to remind oneself of the preciousness of life.
I have missed this though. I tend to process via talking and since talking isn’t always an option, writing has become my next best option. Sitting here now I don’t even know where to start with all that has happened over the course of the summer. The time has simultaneously sped by and crept along. Strange how it does that.
I am very aware of time as I look at my daughter Cate. I’m laying beside her as I type. She is no longer a baby- of this I’m reminded, especially when I look at the newborns in my life. Cate is about to enter grade seven, a grade I vividly remember being in. I wonder aloud how I can be the mother of an almost twelve year old. In parenting the years go quickly while the moments seem long, similar to how I feel about these few months of summertime. Sometimes I fear that this kind of passage of time will not allow me to remember all that I want to about Cate’s growing-up years, except for maybe the many mistakes I have made along the way. I’ve been considering how backwards it is that I might recall the worst instead of the best. What I really want to do is remember the entirety of the experience.
I guess if there is one thing from my hiatus I would like to share, it is this: I have been reminded of the pleasure of living in the moment. I have stared at the stars, slowly sipped coffee and sung while strumming my ukelele. I have laughed with friends, sat quietly in the corner of each of our drop-ins at The Dale and relished in the sounds of our wonderfully diverse community, been on dates with Dion and played with Cate. Rather idyllic? Well, yes and no. I have also wept, attempted to manage crisis, double-booked myself, been to funerals and struggled with fatigue. Living in the moment doesn’t promise everything will be easy. It does however, help me to appreciate it all in a different way.
Kind of like what happens when I stare into the face of a baby.